They drifted into a conversation,
That she immediately felt
Would be pivotal for her mainly.
He never had a clear understanding
Of the link between some things
That she considered fundamental.
The way he had always seen it,
Age and accomplishments for one,
Was no measure of development.
Since as was clearly evident,
There where certain ocurrences
Which couldn’t be controlled.
Like outcome, death, and desires,
And what other people choose
Regardless of how it affects you.
She said that certain things
Must be put in place as guides,
Towards favorable probabilities.
This was even more confusing,
So he changed the topic abruptly
To the dinner she was not having.
Everything was organized neatly
Across her untouched plate,
Which she had been starring at.
Responding to his inquiry,
She said she’d lost her appetite
For everything in front of her.
He could speculate if he wanted,
But her calculations were based
On limited child bearing years.
And even if he felt he had time,
The impatience in her was more
Than any imaginable hunger.
Exhausted from frustration,
But finally assured of the end
Which this was for them.
If hopelessness was contagious,
He wouldn’t have infected her
Before she got a chance to go.