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Pregnancy Tests

For the life of me
I couldn’t begin to imagine,
Why in all wishes to come true
He was so excited about this,
When I was clearly petrified.

How could he know
Everything he claimed about it ,
When he didn’t even possess
The necessary body parts
To truly experience this.


He was overjoyed, I noticed,
Yet all I could think of
Was my body stretching
Into rotund proportions
And bloated with fluid.

I could just imagine
This invasion of my body,
Reprogramming my functions,
Appetite, and moods, and
Would soon captivate my heart.

That new clean pure smell
The tiny hands and feet
Was all he talked about.
Plus every possible mannerism
And resemblance to him.

I was very much annoyed
To hear no mention from him
Of the puke, and poop, and piles
Of laundry, and sleepless nights,
And feeding every two hours.

He felt so proud
Decorating the nursery,
While I busied myself
Having little fits about
Child proofing and safety.

We always wanted this,
But he was not prepared
To witness the delivery,
And he almost lost it
When the labor pains began.

He ran out to the car,
Reversing from the driveway,
Before noticing he forgot me
And the prepacked suitcase
At the front door.

Halfway to the hospital
When my water broke,
He almost hit another driver,
I continued the breathing technique
We learned in parenting class.

Rushing into the ER,
He comes back to meet me
With a wheelchair and a nurse,
I hurl myself out off the car
And waddled to go sit down,

I get preped for delivery,
He’s sobbing the whole time,
Still while trying to be
A good cheerleader,
And apologizing too much.

Three good pushes
Was enough for a safe delivery,
And it would have been event free
Had he not fainted as I’d feared
After volunteering to cut the cord.

I bust out laughing,
Our son starts screaming,
The doctor nods and smiles
Then hands the baby to the nurse,
While my man is still out cold on the floor.

He regains consciousness,
And insist on taking his boy
To the nursery himself.
So the midwife amuses him,
Since he’d missed the first moments.

Concluding what felt like pregnancy test
Our first week home was lovely,
With the adjustments to the newness
Of baby schedules, and exhaustion,
And the beginnings of our new family.

Ria 2016

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